Holding Her Station

24.2 cm x 32.7 cm soft pastel, May 2007

From my mind.  I have since learned that a bullfighter does not wear a flouncy scarf.  But I would ;P

Originally I made "Holding Her Station" to describe my overall feeling while being groomed to assume directorship of a prestigious, international, private, K-12 school in Costa Rica.  I had never lived outside of the USA, had a paltry command of Spanish (though I needed that as well as French, Russian, etc.), & was in a job w/ more challenges than I had encountered since puberty.  My characteristic, lifelong hiccups disappeared for two weeks!  But I felt so alive.  I felt like I was contributing in some bumbling manner, walking w/ a positive footprint... and standing in my suit of lights, facing El Toro (challenges).  You can see the "Whoosh!" of the air above my red cape.

{BTW while doing this piece, I thought that a toreador suit would make a fabulous (& highly visible) cycling kit!  Pearl Izumi said they would evaluate a design if it was patented.  There's an idea for you, anyone who wants to do this.  Just please make a woman-shaped version of it, too.  And notify me so I can buy one.}

Now I relate to this piece as a metaphor for facing the slavering bull of managing my time.  A brilliant cellist has curvature of the spine from his work.  A great & influential thinker got carbuncles on his bum from sitting to write his magnum opus.  A master painter had a disastrously messy home.  I am grateful to people like this for their sacrifices for their huge contributions to humanity, but I choose a more balanced, healthful life for myself.

I enjoy connecting w/ people (friends/strangers, in all moods/dispositions).  People delight & energize me.  I enjoy doing useful things, whether vigorous physical labor, serving food to homeless folks, brainstorming/meditating together, or listening to someone unload (or lock 'n' load, since I live in Montana).  This human experience is so unbelievably rich!  

        .... But I'm doing art now.  I've given the last two decades of time/energy to helping/working (w/ & w/out pay) & stepping up to the plate when someone needs something.  These next several years are for Lisa.  I must create art w/ improving proficiency so that I keep my life force; I am sealing the leaks.  I must hold my station every time someone suggests that I should do more of whatever they are doing.  Of course it's so nice to be invited & to know that other people want me around (thank you; I'm fond of you too).  Of course I will continue to step up to the plate for friends, & as the Divine guides me to.   Will my intention be easier to notice if I'm wearing a suit of lights?  

I like the Costa Rican way of stating what one does (for occupation or avocation):  "I dedicate myself to...."  ¡Y así, me dedico al arte hasta nuevo aviso!

¡MAY YOU DISCOVER & RUN WITH YOUR PASSION!

¡PUEDE QUE DESCUBRA Y CORRER CON SU PASION!